I saw an image on Facebook a while ago that said “Yes, I do depend on a man. My husband and I are a team. He depends on me and I depend on him. We support each other. That’s how a marriage is supposed to work.” And it got me thinking about how women often want to seem independent and say they don’t need a man.
I’ll say it straight out, I depend on my husband. And he depends on me. We are a team. Partners. Support. We are here for each other and we are here for our children.
My dad raised me to be an independent person. I do not readily ask for help and I know sometimes I should. But that’s just not who I am. If I had to, I could do almost anything that I would consider the ‘husband jobs’ around the house. No, I have never mowed the yard before, but I could. Bugs terrify me, but unless it is a roach then I can take care of it (if it is a roach it’s easier to cut your losses and just burn the house down!). In my dad’s words, I would never have to depend on a man or anyone else, I could take care of myself.
While this is great in moderation, what tends to bother me is the women who claim they don’t need a man and are better off without their husbands. There’s independence, and then there’s arrogance. I find it surprising how many women will bash their significant others and claim that it’s harder when they are home and things like that. If this is the case, why are you married? Seriously. If you are such an independent person, why are you attached to someone like this?
On the other side of the scale, there are the women who can’t do a thing for themselves and are completely dependent on others. While there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with this, I worry about these women if something happens and they are alone. Whether it’s alone out somewhere, or because they separate from their significant other, or in the case of a death. What will they do? I worry about the women who don’t learn the basics of how to take care of themselves and their home. My sister is less of an independent person than me, but she could also take care of herself if the need arises.
Marriage and Dependence
When you marry someone, you become a team. In my opinion, that’s part of being married. A marriage is two people who have decided that they want to spend their lives together. Yes, we could go through life without each other, but we don’t want to and are better together. In addition to being husband and wife, we are also each other’s support team. We depend on each other to be there to celebrate our achievements as well as pick each other up when we fall. We have been through a lot together, including building a house, moving a couple times, having two children, quitting jobs, starting dream jobs, surgeries and recoveries, and everything in between. While I could have done all that on my own, I don’t want to.
There seems to be a stigma in our society around women who depend on their man. I see nothing wrong with this. As with most things in life, having a balance between being an independent woman and being dependent on others creates a happy medium. I don’t want to be that woman who can’t do anything without asking permission or needing someone with me, but I also want to have that person that I know I can depend on. That person who I know is there for me, no matter what life throws at us. And really, your person doesn’t have to be a spouse, it can be a sibling, a best friend, a parent, a cousin, it doesn’t matter, as long as you have that someone in your life.